Watching the kinds of films I do, I try to keep an open mind, no matter how ropey a movie might look. That said, whenever I see the logo of The Asylum, I usually turn in the opposite direction. I just never seem to get along with their style and tired of the mockbuster shtick very early on with films like Snakes on a Train and Monster promising a fun 90 minutes but always delivering the same boring slog infrequently supplemented with extremely ropey CGI.
Which brings us to Shark Warning (is it supposed to be a play on stark warning? Or am I overthinking this? I guess most titles these days are all keyword and SEO driven…). If I knew beforehand that The Asylum produced this one, I might not have picked it up. But, I didn’t, mainly because the box art didn’t have their usual flourish of knocking off a better-known movie or brandishing a title so wacky you can’t help but be intrigued. Nothing about Shark Warning screamed The Asylum to me. Although why they didn’t position it as a mockbuster of Jaws, with the 50th anniversary and all, I will never understand.
Because a huge chunk of the Jaws DNA is present here. In a nutshell, we have a town that hosts an annual fishing competition on its lake. The only problem is that there’s no fish in said lake this year. The mayor (of course) cannot entertain the possibility of cancelling the event (it’ll be ruinous – we’ve never heard that before, right?) and so she takes the extremely sensible step of paying someone to blow a hole in the dam that separates the lake from the sea. That way, the fishies can flow! Amusingly, upon hearing that a shark is hovering around near the dam, she insists the demolitionist creates a hole small enough for the fish to pass through but not the shark, which could obviously screw up the competition. It’s no spoiler to say that the explosion doesn’t adhere to her instructions.
As derivative as the setup sounds (and it is), the film itself is entertaining with a decent body count and a CGI shark that’s well-animated and actually pretty decent considering the budget (save for a few shots). It’s an easy way to pass 90 minutes even if it is pretty lightweight. There’s zero suspense here, the staging’s by the numbers and the vast majority of the movie takes place during tension-free daytime.
Tonally, Shark Warning’s an odd one. It’s a movie that takes itself seriously with a plot thread of a 20-year-old childhood trauma. But then, there’re moments I found extremely funny. Hilariously (to me anyway), the shark had a knack for causing deaths indirectly. Its penchant for ramming boats led to a couple of accidents that almost felt planned by the fish. These mishaps had me chuckling, after all, sharks aren’t exactly known for having a repertoire of dispatch methods, which added a nice little twist!
Some other scenes are amusing, but I figure unintentionally. The script genuinely feels like a 10-year-old recanting Jaws. Characters constantly talk unnaturally and over-explain everything they’re doing/planning.
And on that, the performances here just aren’t very good. The dialogue the actors are wrestling with doesn’t help, but the fundamental problem is that everyone lacks emotion. Most of the cast are just a single step removed from simply reading the lines from a teleprompter, such is the lifelessness of the acting on display. It’s really noticeable and completely kills the subplot of the lead and his history with the shark.
Would I recommend Shark Warning? Well, that depends. There are many better shark flicks out there, but then there are many worse ones too. If you’re seeking something new and don’t expect the world, you could do a lot worse than opt for this movie. But beyond that, it’s an extremely unambitious piece, delivering on the expectations of the subgenre but refusing to offer a scrap more.
